On Becoming A Queen

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DAY 7  – WRITE SOMETHING THAT YOU WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU 10, 5 OR A YEAR AGO.  Pay it forward. Share your best advice.

#662 words

I wish I have a fairygodmother… in the flesh.

I wish she had woken me up on the morning of my 12th birthday that and told me.

I am a true queen in the fullest sense of the word – whether there is a king or not.

That…

I have the power to stand on my own two feet and rise up to every challenge that life throws my way.

I am a complete by myself and don’t need somebody who can’t add to my joy and sparkle. Nor lift me into a higher vibration.

I can make my own decision without having to ask anybody if it’s okay or not.

If I can do it or not. If it’s right or wrong.

I wish I can summon her in a blink of an eye every time a man would say that…

I can’t scream and shout.

I can’t climb a tree nor ride a bike.

I can’t wear short or jeans nor play with the boys.

I don’t need an education because a girl’s greatest accomplishment is to get married. Or that I’m too old for that. Or I have my limitations.

That…

I don’t need to look for a job. I don’t have to write because it’s a man’s job.

Or there’s no money in it. It’s not even considered as work and nobody’s going to read it anyway. Perhaps one or two. And that’s a pity.

That…

There’s no need to put on my make up and lipstick not because I am naturally beautiful inside and out but because I am not going anywhere but here inside my own little bubble of a house.

I am already in a committed relationship and it’s okay to lose myself in the process.

I wish someone would tell me that …

My strengths will come from my own power. That my opinions and decisions matter – even if they are different, too weird or if the truth is too much to handle.

That the search for love for oneself and the pursuit of happiness are not simply ideas created by Hallmarks solely for Valentines day but for everyday spent here on earth. That there is some truth in it – even if nobody sees it because it is coming from the heart and not the mind.

I wish someone would say that…

My choices and needs are important. That they are fully accepted as my own and not as somebody else’s. That I can say what I want to say without walking on eggshells. Without interruption. Without disrespect. Without abuse.

That…

My religion and political choices are mine and based on my own perception and beliefs whether these are the Universal truth or not.

That…

I can live my own life. Pay my own bills. Cook my own food. Or date myself because I need my Me-Time too and don’t have to ask anybody’s permission. Or give explanations for my behavior. Or live up to anybody’s expectations.

A queen should be on equal footing with her king.

Not above her. Nor below her. Not behind nor in front.

A king should be standing next to her queen so that he could hold her hand if ever she fall or stumble.

A queen is never given a command. She is asks politely and graciously.

A queen is not considered a “dominatrix” but a gentle soul to be cared for.

A queen is a woman not a wh__e for entertainment and selfish pleasures.

A queen is a mother not a maid who is always at his beck and call.

A queen fortifies her queendom and strengthens the souls of her subjects.

A queen is fair and rationale.

And I wish I have a fairygodmother who will say…

“Dear, your list may be too long, but your wish is my command.”

 

 

 

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Egypt in my Retro State of Mind

 

woman looking at pyramids

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DAY  5 – WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW

Describe a day in your life that you will never forget.

#763 words

The private plane from Jeddah, Saudi Arabia came to a final halt. We had landed at Cairo Airport after almost two hours of smooth flight across the Red Sea. We arrived at half past midnight.  It was winter season and the cold November winds of Cairo had given me chills despite wearing the black cardigan sweater all throughout the flight. We braved the cold night as we walked down the tarmac to our car that was  driven by Nasser –  the guy who fetched us at the airport and had driven us to Hotel Intercontinental-Heliopolis where my co-workers and employer’s family stayed for a week.

It was my very first time in Egypt. I was very excited to see the city that was known to be one of the oldest in the world. Egypt with all its magnificent sights, museums, landmarks and rich history was a sight to behold.

My mind raced with excitement just by thinking about the famous places and landmarks that we had visited but were only seen in books and movies – The Nile River, The Sphinx, The Pyramids of Giza, King Tut’s tomb, the palace of former King Farouk, Luxor and  the Lighthouse of Alexandria.

I found myself sleepless in Cairo that night. I had written my first entry on my diary about how the day went.  I had my Sony digital camera with me and brought home countless pictures. Photo developing then had cost me a fortune. Now, we appreciate modern technology with the invention of innovative smartphones. Taking pictures become free, fun and unlimited.

Our first day was spent touring around the city visiting malls, arcades, cinemas and had fun eating McDonald’s with the kids (ages 10, 12, 13 and 16). We even tried ice cream in winter.  I found the old taxicabs in the city very amusing.  I remember the old movies I used to watch.  It felt like I time traveled to the past year 1972. In the afternoon, we all went to Ismailiya Farm where we enjoyed the mountains, dates trees and a short horse show. At night, we had shish taouk, kebab and biryani rice for dinner while we were sitting on Arabian sofa and listening to the melodious voice of Nancy Ajram.

On the second day, we all went horseback riding with them in the desert near the majestic Pyramids of Giza. Since I was scared to ride a horse for the first time, I preferred a smaller, quieter horse I called “Sandy.” Since it was so small the kids teased me that it was a donkey not a horse. I came up with that Sandy name as we were trudging on the desert sands like the gypsies and Bedouin nomads back in the day. I asked the guide to take pictures of us in front of the Pyramids. After a very long day in the desert, everybody was hungry. We all headed back to the hotel, freshened up and called room service for dinner.

The most anticipated boat ride on the Nile River, known to be the longest – happened the next day. Many Egyptians were seen strolling down the famous river. Families and couples were sitting by the bench. Several young women in colorful garments – their hijab (head cover)  matched the color of their clothes – were walking along the cobblestones pavement having fun and eating snacks which they bought from the vendors by the riverside. Young men were joking around whenever they see pretty young things walking by.  It was a windy and cold in the late afternoon but we were okay. We had fun riding the boat and watched in awe the glittering colorful lights coming from the riverside restaurants.

On the 4th day we visited Alexandria and stayed for a couple of days. Alexandria – the second largest city – was located on the edge of the Mediterranean Sea. It was several hours drive from Heliopolis. Alexandria was founded by Alexander the Great of Macedonia who often visited during his reign and fell in love with the city. Thus, the name Alexandria. We had a boat ride around the famous Lighthouse of Alexandria and spent all day at the beach.

The last few days of our stay in Cairo were spent shopping for souvenirs to bring back to Jeddah. And although we were so tired with the packing and unpacking of our luggages, the memorable moments captured by the pictures will forever serve as good memories to tell my grandkids in the future when they are old enough to understand.

 

 

 

Puzzle Pieces

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DAY 4 – FREE WRITING

#777 words

Yes, grief has its stages. They say five or four, some says there are even more. It doesn’t really matter how many because here’s the thing.

When it appears, there is no easy way to get out of it.

No, not yet. Everybody has to go through each step. You know like climbing on the stairs. You can’t jump three steps up because that’s when accidents do happen.

Or when making a project. You can’t cut short and finish it quickly because there is a right way to get things done. One step at a time. It can be a long or short process but you do it anyway.

Same goes with grief. One has to learn patience. People say it’s a virtue, right? But it actually makes sense. You will get over it eventually but when and how, nobody knows. So, you wait and be patient. You can never rush the process but you don’t have to stay there forever.

The only difference is – those who have managed to moved on fast from the ones who remained stuck – is finding the strength and will to pick themselves up. ASAP. They don’t turn their backs. They  just keep moving.

The good thing is, grief is not really permanent.

It’s like a foolish stub on the big toe when you are  being clumsy and dumb at the same time. It hurts but after a day or two and you are fine. You  have to go through the stages to survive.

Denial.  The stage of shock. It is like a steel anchor from the ship docked out on the sea. The heavy splash creates a ripple of sea water crashing on the shores and then back. You see it, you feel it but you pretend it’s not happening. It is like the big white elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about.

Anger. It is like a big bolt of lightning together with the roaring thunder rocking your wits  to the edge of madness. It’s like the volcanic vent of Mt. Vesuvius with its hot molten lava making its way up to the surface and flowing down on poor Pompeii. It cuts like a hot knife slashing on a butter. Or like the ten of swords stabbing on your back and how you bleed to death.

Bargaining. The temporary truce. The promise to oneself.  The “what ifs”. The guilty feeling that there must be something that you could have done differently.

Depression. The abyss. The dark night of the soul where the shadows lurk and cast a mighty spell on you until you lose it or break you. Or a seasonal-like disorder that prevents the light of day.  Everything looks gray and that’s how one feels too.

Acceptance. This is the stage where the healing starts. It serves as the light at the end of the tunnel. The first ray of hope that shines through the window in the morning. The upward turn on a rugged mountainous slope after a steep climb. You’ve reached the summit! You’re on your way back home. Hugs!

The irony is – when life throws you a big curveball and  you are not even looking, there are no warning signs nor smoke signals – you deal with it in the best way you can.

Life is a big box of puzzle pieces left by the door for you to solve. Each part is connected. Each piece plays a role for the whole set. You can’t just have one piece of the puzzle nor have the whole set with one piece missing. Because one can’t do without the other.And you cannot replace the missing one with a piece from another set.

It’s okay to feel broken. It’s okay to feel pain. The mighty heart can handle it. It’s okay to be sad and mad at the same time. Your brain might go haywire but its fine. You don’t have to stay there forever stuck like an anchor at sea.

The first step is always the hardest. The first cut is always the deepest. But still you have to keep on moving. And finally you face reality. Because the truth is, reality is not going anywhere.

You may not always see God standing by your side during these hard times at all.  But He stands there all along, just waiting for your call.

 

 

 

 

On Coming Full Circle

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DAY 3 – GET UP EARLY

#749 words 

#My500Words

My alarm clock rang at 3 am – the time I set for myself to get up early for the third day of the writing challenge which is also the prompt for today. I have a renewed sense of enthusiasm that I even woke up earlier than the said time.

There is something good about waking up early in the morning because I am ahead of everybody. The day is fresh, quiet and a good time for a short meditation prayer. When the mind is relax, ideas can flow smoothly. And while everybody is in deep slumber, the peacefulness of the moment gives you a trance-like feeling. You are alone but it gives you the winning edge.

Before I sit down in front of my computer, I switched on the water kettle to prepare for my early morning coffee – a daily habit that we are all familiar with. While I am waiting for the water to boil, I checked my orchid plants on the veranda to see if I need to water them. I am happy to see that for now they are okay.

Now the coffee is ready. My laptop is ready. I am ready.

I can still feel the cold Siberian winds, as the door to the veranda was left ajar. I stepped outside. The twinkling stars in heaven, the quiet stillness of dawn, the slightly shivering coldness and the greenish rustic mistletoe that is still hanging over the door added to the nostalgic moment and lingering feeling of the past holiday season.

I look back at 2018 with a smile. I survived it. Yay! I am grateful for the all the things that happened and were brought into my life and my family.  I am thankful for all the people I have met. 2019 might not be as hopeful and bright as I perceived it to be now without my struggles which changed my perspective into a better and brighter one. There is a deeper realization for me to see life from both sides now – the ups and downs, highs and lows and the joys and pains. There’s a sense of relief in knowing that these are what makes me human and not an android. To bravely face my fears everyday. To accept my own weaknesses and strengths. To persevere in the moment of failure. The strength of the human spirit lies in the moment of vulnerability and in knowing this to be a part of my soul evolution.

To fully understand my life’s purpose is what drives me for 2019. To heed the desperate calling of my soul and to go where my heart leads me. To seek the truth of the past and bring it forth into the future.

I can no longer betray myself. I can’t hide. I can’t run. I can’t even fake it.

It’s about self-fortification. It’s about being true to myself. Accepting me for being the way I am without judgment, finding faults and self-sabotage. I need to defend my own trial this time. To be my own hero. This is me then and this is me now. The things that happened in between those years were only part of a dream sequence. Before it’s too late, I am reclaiming my old self. I am saving her from spiraling down into the abyss of nothingness and mediocrity.

No lessons are ever lost. No pains are ever wasted. These will serve as guideposts for myself and for others. What is the purpose of the lessons and experiences if they are not shared? Having said that, since we are all on a different path in life, I can’t force anybody to accept it. Everybody has its own time. But first, I need to learn it for myself and heed my own advice. And then, learn a lesson or two from their experiences too. All things work both ways, right? We are all inter-connected. As the love memes quote says. “There is no You or Me. There is only Us. “

Another chance was given to me and it came at the right moment. For all its worth, I thank the Lord for another blessing.

That being said, with grace and humility, I bow down to the Highest Source above me and asks for His guidance so that I may continue my life’s purpose.

And that’s how I ended my Day 3 assignment – just as the sun is beginning to shine from the east as if saying,”goodluck.”

 

On Adulting

DAY 2 – GOALS

#655 words

#My500Words

Even before the clock strikes 12 on New Year’s day, people usually have a ready-made list of New Year’s resolutions – exciting and positive changes or goals which will serve as guideposts for the next 365 days. In this modern era of electronically wired world, if goals are successfully accomplished, these will be social media worthy and will validate our worth as an individual.

Or so I thought.

For me, setting goals or keeping resolutions is a personal thing. It is not about jumping into the bandwagon because famous people are doing it. It doesn’t matter how many or few goals I have set before and failed. The new list will provide as the road map  to the things I want to accomplish for the whole year and sometimes, even beyond the set time frame. Before, I may not have been very successful in some of my efforts not due to lack of setting goals but to my inability to take further actions on the things that I have started. In other words, I easily gave up.

The first goal that I am setting for myself now is to have the self-discipline I desperately needed to achieve my dreams – to write a book or memoir and if God willing, eventually earn from writing. It will benefit me in the long run.

I am reviewing my life goals not only because this is part of the My 500 Words writing challenge. I am doing it to prove to myself that I can do it. Yes, there is no surefire way of achieving the goals without actions. My determination to keep going and the will to stick to the rules of the task  is a very important factor.  If I am really honest with myself, these things will not work if I don’t have the discipline to follow them through fruition.

Discipline is what separates the winner from the loser. Life without discipline is like a dead log floating on the river without directions. Life will be chaotic. If not, it’s like giving up on yourself and just letting God or luck to do it for you.

It means it is time for “adulting.” It may be the millennial’s favorite word for 2018 but it can also be used to describe anybody. Age doesn’t have anything to do with it.

Adulting means being a responsible adult. It is having the maturity to know my priorities. It is not about indulging in things that don’t serve my purpose. It is realizing that my dreams matter the most to me.

Writing is never an easy task.  But, no matter what, it is something that sets my soul on fire. In writing, I reach a natural high like what heroin is to an addict.  Despite my self-defeating patterns like fears and insecurity of not being good enough or  being criticized that my ideas are too-opinionated  still, I must show up everyday and do the work – whether pen on paper or fingers on keyboard it doesn’t really matter.

I also learned to accept that people may not always agree with what I write and that is okay. Because eventually, I will find and wait for the right people, my own tribe of people who will resonate  with what I write.

In whatever things I set my soul to do in life, I always do my best even if people may not see it that way.  Every failure or setback is a gauge for me to do things better next time.

I am not only writing for the sake of honoring my  creative self but also, praising God for the gift that he bestowed upon me. Because, I don’t want to face Him someday asking me this question, “Why didn’t you do something about it?

As a writer, blogger or diarist, do you agree on this? Please tell me about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Folks, I’m Back

Yes, I am glad to be back here on my website after a long hiatus. Yipee!

This is actually my first “baby” and it is very close to my heart. I really missed writing here although I haven’t really forgotten my passion for creative writing.

I also would like to make an announcement.

This is just a heads up, guys. Please bear with me on this.

I recently signed up for the My 500 Words – a 31 day writing challenge – by Jeff Goins, an American blogger, speaker and author of bestselling books, “Art of Work” and “Wrecked.” This is my second time to join the challenge. I enjoyed and learned a lot during the first time I joined when I was still in Bahrain back in 2014. Although I haven’t been active with the community that Mr. Goins have created on Facebook, yet still,  I am a silent participant. I learned great ideas about writing which the members are sharing with the group.

I am posting here on this website pinayinrosecoloredglasses ,  some selected articles that I am going to write based on the writing prompt for the day. I already made an announcement on Facebook as the task for Day 1.

See you then for my next article.

Thank you for dropping by.

Mira

 

 

 

 

It is Okay to be a Rebel

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photo source: inspirebohemia

The word rebel has been given a bad rap for a long time
But I believe it’s not about the word that gives it a negative vibe
It’s how people perceive and define it that makes it good or bad.

It’s okay to be a rebel if you want . . .

To fight for your ideals and what you think is right
To keep the fire of passion burning in your heart
To go against the tide because the force makes you even stronger
To shake the status quo because you don’t live up to their expectations.

It’s okay to be a rebel and still have faith in humanity
Like a  time for a cool change, a breath of fresh air
To be free-spirited in your quest for life
To quench your thirst for knowledge and  experiences.

It’s okay to be a rebel and rewrite your own story
To change the course of history
To promote an idea that you really believe in
To defy the system and march on to where you can run freely.

Being a rebel is not only for the sake fighting and dying
Not just for the sake of creating havoc and misery for ourselves and others
But also for the awareness, freedom and universal justice
To raise our voice for those who can’t speak and to find your own truth.

All I’m saying is . . .

Rebel against a foe and turn him into a friend
Rebel against hatred and turn it into love
Rebel against war and turn it into peace
Rebel against a bully and become a buddy instead
Rebel against YOU for not standing up for yourself.

If you aim something for your own good
and for the good of all mankind,

You can have it your own way,

Because, IT’S OKAY.